All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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