Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
