ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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