You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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