Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
