he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
