Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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