So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
