Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
is wine microwaveable?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
