The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
