Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
