Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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