at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize