i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
