I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
