remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
