3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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