I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
