It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You've changed since you got that strap on
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
