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Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize