My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We had sex on a dog bed..
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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