5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he was CRYING into my vagina
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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