Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
