Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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