I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
