I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
