I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
