Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
