My brain says no but my pants say off.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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