This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
