One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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