I just pynch a tree in the face
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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