I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She even gives head with a lisp.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
