Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize