Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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