I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
