I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
