i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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