We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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