so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize