i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
