The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
