I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
