I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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