My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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