i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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