My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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