super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
