I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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