I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just cropdusted the office
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
