The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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