Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
