I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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