This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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