I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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