Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
