Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
