I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
