drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
