You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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