As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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