Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
