I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize