After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
