at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Randomize