i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
