So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
