i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
