I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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