Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
