so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
