hotel room ftw
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
