You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
