There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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