Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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