OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize