She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
