i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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