Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize