Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
