'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
