I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize