i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
