i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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